Monday, October 15, 2007

Getting Old

This waiting game is so frustrating. Every day I go to the mailbox in anticipation that we've received our I171h. But it hasn't been there yet. I know it will come, but every day we wait puts us a day later that we wait to see our daughter, to even know her name. And now our agency is changing some things and they're saying not to expect your child home for a year once they get everything for the dossier, including the I171h. So, that means we won't see our daughter until next fall or winter? Here I was hoping by the time we moved next summer we'd have her! I know AoH is doing all they can and I'm so thankful for their hard work. I am just not very good at waiting. Especially in circumstances like this. And so we wait some more.

I have a confession to make also. I have some built up hostility in my heart and I hate feeling that way. You see, it is no problem for a young woman to stand in front of our Sunday School class and share about her mission trip to England and to hand out prayer cards. This woman I've only seen at Sunday School a handful of times. I admit she has been preparing for this trip and I think she has even been serving on a different one. But when it is ok for one person to share about that, yet we are unable to share about our adoption? I have a really hard time not having resentment. It's not like we'd get up there and ask for money. We just wanted to share what God had laid upon our hearts. We're no different than the missionary going overseas...we will simply be a missionary in our own home. And part of me thinks that I shouldn't care. After all, next year at this time we'll be long gone from here. But at the same time this is our church family and they should be supportive and allow us to speak about how God is working in our lives. So, please pray that I can resolve this resentment I have built up in me.


Aduladi' said...

I have to say that I don't understand that myself. You adopting is no less important than a missions trip. If anything it is a little more crucial. You are literally saving a life and directing it to Christ.

I pray that whatever obstacles are in your way for sharing your journey at church will be lifted. What you are doing is such an important mission; raising children, homeschooling and even opening your heart, home and finances to an orphaned child.

I am constantly praying for you and praying that all goes smoothly. Obviously your daughter is not ready to come home yet, or you would have that form.

Does not make it any easier though.

Much love to you all,

Brandi said...

I'll be praying for you. Resentment is so hard. It sneaks in when you aren't looking and creeps up on you. Keep remembering your own forgiveness and how you make the Father sad each day as well. It is so hard not to judge when people "just don't get it"! Especially things we've learned or feel are obvious!

Such hard stuff! Thanks for sharing so we can join you in praying!


Missy said...

I don't know if this helps or not, but we have often times had a hard time as a military family feeling like we really belong at church. People have kept us at a distance and we have seen our kids treated differently than the home grown kids. Maybe it is more this type of thing than them feeling your ministry of adoption is less important than a mission trip.

I will most definitely be praying for you my friend.

Love, Missy

DeniseinSC said...


Honestly, take it from someone who was going bezerk in the beginning of the adoption process. It all does work out, and you need to constantly keep giving the time back to God. Even when you are going bananas, and feel depressed, etc... In the beginning, I couldn't even get my birth certificate. It stated that I was born a male...well, I wasn't! On top of that, I was born at Walter Reed in DC, and try getting anything fixed in Washington DC! It took me 6 weeks to just get it corrected. I couldn't even send in the I600a stuff until then. I will tell you this, if we had had it in time,and wouldn't have had to wait.... we wouldn't have been adopting Kebbeh... she wasn't even there yet. I KNOW it seems endless...Hang on, and I WILL be praying for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, Denise

Risa said...

I'll be praying for you guys! Hope things move along more quickly!