This waiting game is so frustrating. Every day I go to the mailbox in anticipation that we've received our I171h. But it hasn't been there yet. I know it will come, but every day we wait puts us a day later that we wait to see our daughter, to even know her name. And now our agency is changing some things and they're saying not to expect your child home for a year once they get everything for the dossier, including the I171h. So, that means we won't see our daughter until next fall or winter? Here I was hoping by the time we moved next summer we'd have her! I know AoH is doing all they can and I'm so thankful for their hard work. I am just not very good at waiting. Especially in circumstances like this. And so we wait some more.
I have a confession to make also. I have some built up hostility in my heart and I hate feeling that way. You see, it is no problem for a young woman to stand in front of our Sunday School class and share about her mission trip to England and to hand out prayer cards. This woman I've only seen at Sunday School a handful of times. I admit she has been preparing for this trip and I think she has even been serving on a different one. But when it is ok for one person to share about that, yet we are unable to share about our adoption? I have a really hard time not having resentment. It's not like we'd get up there and ask for money. We just wanted to share what God had laid upon our hearts. We're no different than the missionary going overseas...we will simply be a missionary in our own home. And part of me thinks that I shouldn't care. After all, next year at this time we'll be long gone from here. But at the same time this is our church family and they should be supportive and allow us to speak about how God is working in our lives. So, please pray that I can resolve this resentment I have built up in me.